Wiktionary® the Wise suggests that we’ve all been at cross-purposes for a very long time, but finally came up with a way to talk about it in the 1660s, thanks to a parlor game bearing the name and quite popular for a good while.  Various on-line dictionaries give a number of helpful hints as to the phrase’s meaning, but the usual definition is based on 1) two or more people engaged in a verbal exchange caused by a confusion of terms: (for example) Person A thinks the conversation is about the state of Georgia, but Person B has assumed that the topic is about the country of Georgia in the Caucasus region down the road from Turkey and Russia. Another more literary source offers a spin on meaning: cross-purposes might also be understood as two people with conflicting ideas trying to solve the same problem.  This second sense of the term has much to say about day-to-day life in the institutional church.  Christians seem particularly apt at disagreeing with one another, venting spleen, and hurling insults and questionable accusations at one another prompted by whatever cross-purpose du jour. Members of Mt. Horeb need only drive several miles to go by old, established congregations bearing the name “Lutheran” yet at best can now only be considered our “separated brethren.”  About fifty years ago while the Lutheran Church – Missouri Synod was erupting, their congregations had been in “protesting fellowship” with the American Lutheran Church, a curiously quaint phrase, I find.  Lutheran divisions have had to do with sexuality more recently, but gender roles, nationality (Norwegian, Swedish, German, and Danish being some of the players), theology, ecumenical disputes, Biblical interpretation, and language issues all have fueled disagreements.  Other religious traditions have split because of their own fascinating topics sparking turmoil. Presently that gentle soul Pope Francis I finds himself beleaguered by disputes even in the Roman hierarchy.

            Given this pervasive reality apparently infecting us all to some degree, I hold on to a few homilies and presentations I’ve been privileged to hear over the years, the preaching and discussions so clear and insightful that I realized I’d been handed a platter of grace which would continue to nourish me for a long time.  An important moment of grace for me was at a local Episcopal parish where I served as interim musician [exceedingly high church, chanting, incense AND bells, fine choir, and a good music tradition – I used to say that I was a good musician for them because a) I could get through the liturgy without getting lost; and b) I didn’t want the organist’s job who was away each summer].  A retired priest who had spent many years as a military chaplain supplied one Sunday, landing the same gospel as we will hear for Lent II: Mark 8:31-38.  This is the first of the three Passion predictions Jesus speaks in Mark’s account of the good news.  Not only does this declaration dumbfound Peter who, as Mark writes, “rebukes” Jesus for such hysterical thought.  Jesus immediately rebukes him, laying him flat with “Get behind me, Satan!”  He goes on to explain that Peter and Jesus are indeed at cross-purposes: For you are setting your mind not on divine things but on human things [Mark 8:33b].

            This troubling gospel passage continues: If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake, and for the sake of the gospel, will save it. ³⁶For what will it profit them to gain the whole world and forfeit their life? ³⁷Indeed, what can they give in return for their life [Mark 8:34-37]? 

Jesus puts it on the line not only for the disciples but for us, too.  We hear “cross” words about saving and losing lives, forfeiting everything with misguided actions on our part.  Such discipleship sounds nothing like a pleasant walk and talk with Jesus in the garden in three-four time!  It rather sounds like we’re all to get the same comeuppance as Jesus in no uncertain terms.  However, we are NOT the Son of God whose mission has been this astounding act of rescue, saving the lost and the forgotten by unimaginable love since the beginning of Creation itself.  We ARE the lost, the forgotten, the confused, the lonely, the dying, and the desperate quite often at cross-purposes with God’s saving work in Christ by the Spirit’s power but all the more in need of Jesus’ presence.

            Insightful Episcopal Priest to the rescue!!!  The good cleric stopped us in our cross-purposed tracks. Our confusion has to do with Jesus’ terminology, not some ill-advised, divine idea about what our role in all this is about.  What does it mean to “take up OUR cross?”  Jesus’ Passion prediction is first about HIS cross: the Son of Man must undergo great suffering, and be rejected by the elders, the chief priests, and the scribes, and be killed, and after three days rise again [Mark 8:31].  This is what Jesus alone can accomplish.  However, what have we learned about the ministry and service to which we have been called as disciples over the years?  Paul reminds us in the second reading that much depends upon our abiding trust in the relationship God established through Christ. That abiding trust is what Paul calls “faith.”  It is what Jesus recognizes when folks come to him, hungry, hurting, and dying.  They have sensed that there IS a loving, saving relationship into which they have been welcomed. Even Father Abraham and Sarah learned this, and so do we. Characteristics of such a relationship – always a community with God, humankind, and creation – are to embrace the loving regard granted us, making possible the willingness to serve, to care for others, support them, encourage them, uphold them in anxiety and fear, and live a life that is not derailed by self-serving and self-gratifying fixations.  THIS is what OUR cross looks like.  It is possible for us to pick up such a cross, for we have been prepared for it and granted gifts to serve wherever we are.  [Instructions are included in Romans 12, the whole chapter.]

            The good cleric reminded us that we often are at cross-purposes when we confuse OUR cross with Jesus’ at Calvary.  We try to bring focus to our confusion by thinking it means we’re cursed to carry intolerable (or just irritating) burdens, illnesses, hardships, as if these are forced on us by the Almighty.  “Well, it’s the cross I’ve got to bear!” we mutter with a sniff.  The priest suggested we look at such burdens, illness, and hardships not as “our crosses” but as “thorns in the flesh,” the hazards of growing older, eventually feeble, our responsibilities both trying and difficult, suffering which includes Covid, high-blood pressure, cholesterol, cancer, and every other malady that our doctors might identify.  These maladies are similar to Paul’s “thorn in his flesh” [II Corinthians 12:5-10] which long hampered his own ministry.  On the other hand, OUR CROSS is whatever we willingly CAN LIFT for the sake of others so that the gospel can be glimpsed a bit more clearly in our vicinity. Our crosses are living, loving, serving action, walking the extra mile, serving a cup of water, clothing the needy, praying with and for others, being the people baptism has equipped us to be. It is significant that our particular “thorns” can, in fact, be transformed into crosses, no longer viewed as a personal violation but rather a means to help others.  Rock-n-Roll singer and composer Cyndi Lauper for years has transformed her chronic skin condition into an opportunity to advocate for appropriate care.  King Charles III has used his recently diagnosed cancer to advocate checkups and vigilance for his subjects. Aaron Fotheringham is an “…extreme wheelchair athlete who performs tricks adapted from skateboarding and BMX.”  Blind Italian tenor, Andrea Bocelli, has dumfounded his public with his stupendous voice, including several members of Mt. Horeb quite recently. The “thorns” in this diverse group of people’s flesh and psychē have become personal crosses bringing encouragement for better, fuller living for themselves and others.  So many others both local or elsewhere, very well known or only by a few, could also be mentioned.

            So, it really does seem that we should discern the blessed meanings of “our cross purposes” during this Lenten journey and beyond.  Whatever Lenten disciplines, be they letting go of something hindering us or taking on some spiritual practices which will stay with us long after the trumpets fade Easter Sunday, may they become cross-filled signs of God’s work in us for the sake of others and done in love.  So that we’re not conflicted about terms, our “cross purposes” is another way of discussing Christian service, mission, and love, so there not be any needless confusion as we go about living fully our calling as Jesus’ disciples, daily taking up our own crosses.